04.19.2005
whine whine whine
spring is here and summer is just around the corner.in the morning the sunshine floods in through the blinds. the cats like to visit then, sitting in the sunshine on the floor or watching street traffic in the windowsill.
spring is a time for change. spring is a time to be happy. do things need to change to bring about happiness? hard to say. i bite my lip and with downcast eyes hint at wanting a change. too aware of feelings besides my own to proclaim and request it.
this disenchantment and itchiness seems to come every year. frustration with the present. belly full of worries for the future. (i have a special hiding place that makes me infinitely happy, listening to records and drinking red wine.) a sudden bad taste in my mouth with ideas of materialization and attractiveness, feeling contradictory in and of myself every day when i perpetuate these ideas. i want to throw away all my things, all the bits of paper and old magazines and scarves i seem collect.
spring is here and summer will come soon enough. 2nd floor heat with traffic noise may prove to be almost unbearable.
02.22.2005
4 CORNERS
today i wished i could mute out the traffic on the street while i walked to school. the snowfall is beautiful. big white snowflakes on my nose and eyelashes. i can't wait for this winter to melt into spring. my only hope is that the winter is warm enough in arizona to wear skirts.i can't help but totally over-romanticize our upcoming trip. in the back of nickjohnsmith's honda surviving on peanut butter sandwiches, cheap southern cigarettes, and bottom shelf booze. 4 CORNERS CREW. cheap motel rooms and campgrounds. hanging out with the best boys from ypsilanti. it's crazy to think i've known logan + travis for five years now.
it's equally as crazy to think about graduating and growing up and moving away.
